These late nights (or rather, early mornings) have been offering me a sweet refuge. We won't speak upon what it does to my sleep cycle, but perhaps I'm syphoning my dreamworld out through my paintbrush and bringing more of those dreams into reality by doing so.
These Leo Moon nights are waxing and waning, and I along with them. They have been providing me a sort of shelter, a chrysalis of transformation brewing inside me... alchemically adjusting me back into a familiar and ancient self... Restoring primal life force; True Nature.
Even now, the Perseid meteor shower is raining down thoughts through the starry sky, answering my callings and inner longings. Meteor after meteor of starry wisdom, just pouring through the atmosphere and into the collective field.
I feel like I've been waging a battle inside for a long time. A battle with my doubts. A battle with fears. A battle with confusion. A battle, it seems, with what I've been taught to believe. My Truth is prevailing, and I feel a very clear turning point has been achieved. A precipice. A Triumph of Triumphs. I feel my personal power returning. There are difficult choices and actions to be made to bring my external reality back into balance with my rapidly shifting internal one, but I am not going to worry about that at this time.
The funny thing is... so much of what I've struggled with is so easily addressed. Imagination, visualization, intention, breathing... these gifts of simplicity have offered potent medicine, alongside the ones with a bit louder voices from the plant kingdoms. I now find myself awake, and cleaning up some messes. I guess this is how humanity feels collectively, waking up and realizing the mess we've made of the planet in our so-called "civilization". Oh my. Yet, the beauty. There is a very fine line between creation and destruction. You really cannot have one without the other.
I'm so grateful I have painting. I'm so grateful I've had this lifeline of telepathic visual messaging. It's a filter from my subconscious. It teaches me so much. It teaches me these relationships between creation & destruction. It teaches me how to be in the moment, how to act from my instincts, how to proceed without "knowing", how to feel energy, how to see with my inner sight.
Art offers us this. It offers us a life line out of the false matrix. I know these are "big" claims, but this is my Truth. This is what it has helped me with... as I lost myself to the internal pressures and conditioning of the way the world has been packaged and sold to us, forgetting who I am and becoming this false ego to survive, art gave me a place to express the forgotten memories. It gave me a place to continue to try and recover from this 3D Amnesia we suffer due to our lifeline to Spirit being cut off in the modern world.
Creativity is a healing energy. It runs through our system, through our chakras, through our meridians, through out matrices. We really ARE it, but we've forgotten. The truth is everywhere-- our real self - it "hides" messages all around us, but we haven't the eyes to See, or if we do, we often don't know what "to do" with it as it doesn't align with the central image and world view models we've been "allowed" to have, or those which have been modeled for us by the external world. We catch glimpses, sometimes softly, and other times with a *bang* and it shakes our world. It shakes us up inside to remember how big, how powerful, how creative we truly are... it shakes us up to see how sick we might still be. It shakes us up to see how much responsibility we might have to change, and THAT can be quite difficult with the perceptual filters, and sort the sort of "bio computer bugs" we might be carrying. We often forget again.
I have a plethora of drawings that I thought were "useless". Scribbles. Random sketches unworthy of pursuing that I later came to realize... We are talking "later" as in YEARS, I came to realize were actually totally, utterly, accurate depictions of reality. We're not talking the academically or culturally "agreed-upon" reality. That version really doesn't allow for very much Truth, as that seems to threaten the shaky ego foundations it is built upon. We're talkin' the long forgotten, unrecorded history, electromagnetic, inter-dimensional, spiritually-infused, animistic Reality.